8 Things to Know When Building a House (Or Anything Else)

Thank you for sharing!

Don’t judge a book by its cover or a blog post by its title. I know this one sounds like a complete departure from what you’ve come to expect here, and, if you’re not building a house, perhaps not like anything you’re interested in. But this isn’t just about building a house. Like every other post, it’s about the teachings of one experience that apply in a hundred other directions. So, if you are building a house or intend to, read on. I hope you’ll find encouragement. If you’re not–read on. This might still be about you.

It’s been a long road from the time my sister and I first entertained the idea of building a house, but at long last…we have footings! Yep, that’s them in the picture. Freshly poured on Friday. Who knew you could be so excited about cement?

What a week, though! Of course, it was nothing new for the concrete guys we hired. They whipped this all into place like superheroes. But for two women who have never rowed this kind of boat before–whoa.

It’s not easy being your own general contractor when you know next to nothing about anything.

The post I intended to write this week went out the window when work began on Monday and only flew farther away as the week progressed. Working through minor hiccups, scrambling to address overlooked details, and hoping—praying—that the plans we drew on paper would actually work in real life, I’ve had nothing but house and especially concrete on my slowly frying brain.

So, because it’s all I could process, here are eight things I’ve learned on this house-building journey so far that may very well be true of whatever journey you’re on.

1. Pray without ceasing.

Does this need an explanation? Everything you build–a house, business, marriage, family, relationship, your own character–is better when God is your partner. As Alma advised his son, Helaman, “Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good.”

He certainly has for us. From carrying us over seemingly impossible hurdles to inspiring our house plan to bringing an advertisement for the right concrete contractor straight to our mailbox, it’s all turning out so much better than it ever could if we’d left him out of it.

Ask him for help. You need it. And he’ll give it.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.

Sometimes the hardest part of a task is starting, not just because of all the unknowns, but because of everything you do know. The obstacles in your way. The time it will take. The money it will cost, the experience you lack.

All the ways this is going to drag you from your comfort zone.

Sounds so much easier to forget the whole thing.

Well, that’s kind of what you have to do. Don’t forget the whole thing. Just most of it. Stick everything on a shelf you can’t do anything about right now, then do what is in your power. Even if it’s just dreaming, hoping, praying–that’s as crucial to the big picture as the footings.

You don’t have to pre-pay the entire investment of time, money, experience, mental and physical exertion. You can’t. Just invest in the first step. It’s the only way you’ll be able to take the next one.

3. Ask for input with a soft heart and a thick skin.

We aimed for a house plan that saw to our wants without exceeding our needs, and after discarding one of our creations because our hilly lot wasn’t conducive to a ranch-style house, we pieced together some concepts from various plans, arrived at what we thought was a good idea, and asked some people if they thought so.

They didn’t.

It’s discouraging to have your hard work dissected and found so completely wanting, but if the fact remains that it’s wanting–and ours was–be willing to acknowledge that. Be willing to make some changes. And know that the attack on your plans is not an attack on you. Many times, it’s actually a service.

Those honest opinions saved us from building a house we would have cursed every day we lived in it.

4. Know when to take advice and when to leave it.

We went back to the drawing board. Pieced together several concepts from several other plans and came up with a much more convenient flow. Moved the garage from under the house and put it off the kitchen at the back as suggested.

And ended up with an enormous, awkward basement and a giant overall footprint we didn’t feel good about at all.

We could have shrunk it without sacrificing anything we needed and still avoided hauling groceries from a downstairs garage to an upstairs kitchen. But several wants would have gone on the altar, not the least of which was a much beloved balcony.

That didn’t sit right, either.

So, keeping our other improvements–and the balcony–we put the garage back in the basement. And had peace.

Other people’s opinions are valid. Most of the time, they’re backed by experience. Experience you can learn from. Their mistakes can spare you a few. Things they did right can be things you do right.

But we all have our personal idiosyncrasies, too, and what seems a necessity for one person might be negligible to you. Some conveniences you’re happy to forego for the sake of a balcony. So forego them.

While you’re seeking advice, it’s okay to still know and be who you are.

5. When it seems nothing’s going according to plan, it might be going exactly according to plan.

It wasn’t our intention or desire to draw our own official house plans (as in the big roll of blueprints your concrete guys and framers build from), but that’s what happened. Long story short, after a fruitless search for a drafter with a reasonable schedule, we turned to a close acquaintance who had knowledge and experience. And more faith in us than we did.

Since I’d already drawn the floor plan and a 3D model to scale in SketchUp, he said, why redraw it on his software? He gave us some instructions and left us in charge of the concrete plans, floor plans, and elevation drawings that were only a little over our heads while he worked on all the technical stuff way over our heads.

Many hours of SketchUp later (yay for SketchUp!), our plans were ready. If I say so myself, for someone who knew nothing going in, they came out pretty darn amazing.

It wasn’t the route we planned on. But it was the route we needed. When you’re going to be the contact for a contractor’s questions, you have to know how that house is supposed to go together. Thanks to all those hours in SketchUp, I do.

Not that there isn’t still a bunch I don’t know, or that I wasn’t still discombobulated when our footings had to go in slightly different from all those drawings I had my head wrapped around, but I at least knew enough to have mostly intelligent conversations with the contractor.

It might be a little, or a lot, of extra work and a huge learning curve, but if the road takes you somewhere you didn’t expect, it might be because God knows more than you do about what’s ahead. Changes in your plans might be him preparing you for what he’s planned.

6. Hold your goals in a loose grip.

Deadlines disappoint. After watching so many come and go, you learn not to set your heart on them. But what about goals? It’s okay to at least have a game plan, isn’t it?

Sure. Just know that while you’re lifting your foot to take the next step, something might kick the other one out from under you.

Also know that’s not the end. You’ll get back on your feet. Eventually.

We were about a day away from a building permit and all geared up to start hiring when a major issue with our water rights stopped us dead in the–well, not the water. Rather in the lack of it.

We spent four months stuck on a virtual sandbar while it got sorted out enough to give us a green light again. Such a discouraging test of patience. But here we are now with footings poured. Later than we hoped, but it’s amazing how the wait ceases to matter when you’re finally moving.

By the way, guess who started a blog while waiting on that sandbar? I wouldn’t have if we’d started on schedule. I’d have never found the time.

See number 5.

7. You don’t have to know everything about everything.

I don’t like being caught without an answer. It was one of my biggest anxieties as a kindergarten teacher. What if something comes up I don’t know what to do with? And it continues to be a weakness. It’s disconcerting, even a little embarrassing, when the only answer you have to a question, especially an expert’s question, is, “Um…”

But that’s an acceptable answer. Sometimes a little subsequent thought and asking a few questions back for clarification will yield a better one, but if it doesn’t–it’s okay to admit you don’t know. That’s why you brought the expert on board. Because the job required more than your limited, or maybe nonexistent, expertise. They’re there to help you know.

If they walked into your place of business, odds are they wouldn’t know as much as you know. And if you had any sense of customer service, you’d gladly educate them. Explain, answer, suggest. Do all you can to give them a final product or result they’ll like.

They’re all about–or should be all about doing the same for you.

Experts exist to help people who aren’t experts. So cut yourself some slack for not being proficient in someone else’s field. And have compassion on the people who aren’t proficient in yours. Ultimately we’re all here to help each other out.

8. You’re stronger than you know.

Nothing teaches you to swim like being thrown in the deep end. It’s uncomfortable, stressful, probably painful, and at times, frightening. But it builds, and reveals, strength you never knew you had. Maybe a strength you never really wanted. Given the choice between sitting peacefully on the shore and floundering in the depths, human nature chooses the shore.

But the depths are worth what they make of you. It’s empowering to know what you’re capable of. To become capable. Not only does it equip you for other challenges ahead, it may help equip someone else.

One day you will tell your story about how you overcame what you went through and it will be someone else’s survival guide.

Brene Brown

Whatever you’re building–big or small, physical, emotional, or spiritual, I’m sure you’ve got something under construction–I hope something here can be, if not your entire survival guide, at least a chapter in it.

What experiences have blown you out of your comfort zone and revealed your unknown strength? Leave a comment and pass this post along!

Scripture References

• Alma 37:37

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